Where I Belong...

So, I have not been writing for the past two weeks. I was back in Indonesia for the whole week last week. That explains my absence from writing. Not that I don't have internet connection back in my kampung halaman, but I was busy spending time with my family and doing necessary things like eating, eating, and eating.

I am officially 28 now (although I have felt like I have been 28 since January) and I spent my birthday running around the city doing errands with my husband. Starting from buying textbook from SMU, visiting sick family friend in Mt. E, having late lunch at Thai Express, watching Batman at The Cathay, searching for luggage at Takashimaya, having dinner at Pasta Cafe, and savouring Ben & Jerry's Dublin Mudslide with chocolate wafer at home (Yummy!). What do I get from Ihin this year? Practical Takashimaya voucher that most likely will be used to buy ironing board. Ironing board?? For your birthday?? It is not Ihin's decision, it is mine. He gives me liberty to choose whatever present I want from Takashimaya, and I choose ironing board. Have been having back pain ironing our clothes on the bed, and I am getting older now, so it is time to take care of my spine and backbone.

Enough about birthday. Somehow, I don't feel its importance anymore. But of course, I still demand Ihin's company during my day. Even though we are not doing something spectacularly romantic, I treasure his company a lot.

I have been thinking and reflecting a lot for the past 7 months. Big thing happens, things change, we move on, but the lesson remains. I can write for hours if I were to discuss everything here, and probably I can write a book about that (someone has done it, and it became a best-seller) but for now, I am just going to highlight one thing. That everyone in this earth are here for a purpose. Nobody is useless. If you start thinking that you are a useless unworthy individual, it can only mean two things : 1. You are in the wrong place at the wrong time, and 2. You are not grateful enough. I was both.

Yesterday, I watched "The Last Lecture" by Professor Randy Pausch, a Carnegie Mellon university professor who has just passed away from cancer. It just blows me away and it confirms my reflections and my thought about myself. I have been working on my weaknesses and I have been putting myself in an environment that is not my world, just because it is cooler to be there and it seems greener (means more money). I was living in denial. As a result, I was so unhappy, unproductive, ineffective, irritating and ungrateful. I should have known that from then till now, smart people have never failed to fascinate me. I should not be ashamed to admit that for me, the sexiest part of our body is the brain. And that the professors in university CAN make a difference in someone's life. And they CAN walk the talk too.

I realize that if I am in the right environment, it does not take tremendous effort to get people recognize my talent. It comes naturally. It does not take money to get me excited and committed. It comes from the heart. So now I slowly turn back to my path, the path where I belong. I am doing what I appreciate the most, I am dedicating my life and my time to my passion, and I am achieving my dreams. Something happens, things change, we move on, but the lesson remains. I have no regret taking the wrong path, because the lesson remains with me forever. And it makes me appreciate what I have more. I embrace my new life as a student gratefully and I receive my new job with excitement. I am glad I am given this chance. I know this is where I belong.

1 year maternity leave

Few days ago MM Lee hinted that Singapore may follow Swedish model of having 13-month parental leave. Hmm.. maybe this is the reason why we have not had any baby. God plans a longer parental leave for us because He knows that we have noone to turn to if we have a baby here.

Well, I am both happy and worried if government really implement this. Talking from my personal point of view, I will of course welcome the change and I will be very grateful for that. One of the reasons why I am reluctant to have a baby now is because I still can't really figure out how I am going to balance work and motherhood. Both of us are very reluctant to have a maid (share our nest with a stranger and lose our freedom at home??). So longer parental leave will definitely ease our burden.

However, from business and economic point of view, I am very concerned with the change. If I position myself as a business owner and I have to give 1 year maternity leave, I will incur significantly higher cost. Government, too, will incur higher expenditure. Who will pay for this? Government. How does government get money? From tax payers and investment. In the end, the cost will be somehow shared between tax payers, government investment arms, and corporations. In Sweden, the tax can be up to 54%, depending on your income level.

If this policy is applied in Singapore, there will be serious changes in the society. Politically, socially, economically. One must weigh whether the sacrifice of paying more taxes is justifiable with the increase of birth rate. Who will have to give more? Who will receive more? Who will suffer the most? Who will benefit the most? To simply say that paying more taxes means the society will have to sacrifice more financially is not really true. If we think long term, the effect of not enough babies today will affect Singapore economy more severely later than the increase in tax now. So if suddenly government rules that tax will be increased to finance longer parental leave, I have no complain. I have confidence in Singapore government and I believe they would have analysed the positives and negatives, and they would make decision for the better. I myself think that the money I pay for the tax is not as important as the chance to spend my time with my baby for the first year.

So, until that day comes, I just have to accept my 3-month maternity leave gratefully and hope that my employer is willing to give me a no-pay leave for another 3 months at least.

a snail is climbing a wall....

A friend of mine, a mother of a P2 student, called me at night few days ago. I was asked to help her with some Math questions. One of them is very interesting, here it goes...

A snail is trying to climb a 20m wall. Every morning he climbs 5m up, and every night he slides 2m down. How many days does the snail need to reach the top of the wall?

Sounds simple, right? But I think it is a tricky question for an 8-year-old girl. I am wondering if my kids next time will be able to solve this question by themselves when they are in P2. Hmm...

Talking about raising kids and the education system in Singapore, Ihin and I have decided to take our kids' education in our own hands. We saw so many cases whereby a teacher, be it a school teacher or a tuition teacher, does not emphasize the basic fundamental of Mathematics. It is sad to see that in a quite famous-all girls-school here, the whole class of P3 students fail their Math paper. I saw the paper, it was not difficult. But it needs a strong fundamental to do it. I guess the teacher does not have enough time to teach and go through the concept deeply, thus the students have very shallow understanding. Not forgetting the fact that it is not easy to find a tuition teacher with a strong understanding too. But seriously, if I compare the number of subjects in Singapore and Indonesia, I can't figure out why Singaporean students seem more stressed compared to Indonesian students. We learned about 12 or more subjects in primary school, and all were examinable. Yet, we had an ample of time to study and joined ECA everyday including Saturday, and still maintained good grades and good understanding, and we can still enjoy our childhood. No stress, we played like normal children too.

So, is it the system's fault? Teacher's fault? Parents' fault? Most of Indonesian students have a stay-at-home mom. Is that the reason?

Well, I don't know the answer, and I should not blame and point finger here. But one thing for sure, my husband and I have vowed to teach our kids ourselves, at least for Math and Science. We have seen a lot of case studies, and it is scary to see some experienced teachers could not even answer slightly tricky Math problems...

Finally...

Yay! Finally I managed to change my blogspot's layout. Have been having problems with the xml thingy. Thanks to google and the people out there who actively post in the forum, I managed to fix the error.

I have just finished my Inter 3 Japanese test on Monday. I relied too much on myself and was a bit over confident after the test because I feel that it is easy. But who knows I only get 88! Final test! I never score below 93 for final test. Sigh.. sad.. sad.. Should not underestimate anything next time. I paid the price this time.