Where I Belong...

So, I have not been writing for the past two weeks. I was back in Indonesia for the whole week last week. That explains my absence from writing. Not that I don't have internet connection back in my kampung halaman, but I was busy spending time with my family and doing necessary things like eating, eating, and eating.

I am officially 28 now (although I have felt like I have been 28 since January) and I spent my birthday running around the city doing errands with my husband. Starting from buying textbook from SMU, visiting sick family friend in Mt. E, having late lunch at Thai Express, watching Batman at The Cathay, searching for luggage at Takashimaya, having dinner at Pasta Cafe, and savouring Ben & Jerry's Dublin Mudslide with chocolate wafer at home (Yummy!). What do I get from Ihin this year? Practical Takashimaya voucher that most likely will be used to buy ironing board. Ironing board?? For your birthday?? It is not Ihin's decision, it is mine. He gives me liberty to choose whatever present I want from Takashimaya, and I choose ironing board. Have been having back pain ironing our clothes on the bed, and I am getting older now, so it is time to take care of my spine and backbone.

Enough about birthday. Somehow, I don't feel its importance anymore. But of course, I still demand Ihin's company during my day. Even though we are not doing something spectacularly romantic, I treasure his company a lot.

I have been thinking and reflecting a lot for the past 7 months. Big thing happens, things change, we move on, but the lesson remains. I can write for hours if I were to discuss everything here, and probably I can write a book about that (someone has done it, and it became a best-seller) but for now, I am just going to highlight one thing. That everyone in this earth are here for a purpose. Nobody is useless. If you start thinking that you are a useless unworthy individual, it can only mean two things : 1. You are in the wrong place at the wrong time, and 2. You are not grateful enough. I was both.

Yesterday, I watched "The Last Lecture" by Professor Randy Pausch, a Carnegie Mellon university professor who has just passed away from cancer. It just blows me away and it confirms my reflections and my thought about myself. I have been working on my weaknesses and I have been putting myself in an environment that is not my world, just because it is cooler to be there and it seems greener (means more money). I was living in denial. As a result, I was so unhappy, unproductive, ineffective, irritating and ungrateful. I should have known that from then till now, smart people have never failed to fascinate me. I should not be ashamed to admit that for me, the sexiest part of our body is the brain. And that the professors in university CAN make a difference in someone's life. And they CAN walk the talk too.

I realize that if I am in the right environment, it does not take tremendous effort to get people recognize my talent. It comes naturally. It does not take money to get me excited and committed. It comes from the heart. So now I slowly turn back to my path, the path where I belong. I am doing what I appreciate the most, I am dedicating my life and my time to my passion, and I am achieving my dreams. Something happens, things change, we move on, but the lesson remains. I have no regret taking the wrong path, because the lesson remains with me forever. And it makes me appreciate what I have more. I embrace my new life as a student gratefully and I receive my new job with excitement. I am glad I am given this chance. I know this is where I belong.