Expected Value = Mean

I guess it is really hard to keep up with our own expectation, huh? I have to learn to be more forgiving, otherwise I won't be able to move on. Sometimes it is OK to be not perfect, I guess. But seeing some people can have the best of both worlds, I want to be like them too. Maybe it is not for everyone, but how to be successful if I limit my goals? I am trying to float here, but I feel the pulling force already. Suddenly realized that the clock is ticking, but hey, don't we know it already that it only takes 5 weeks? Still, the exams, assignments due date and the trip overwhelm me, and pimples start appearing. Hegh... I wish the hormone can stay quiet. My heartbeat races faster, too. Blame it to poor emotional control and my own expectation value. Doesn't expected value = mean? What does it mean? If we reach our expectation, it means we are just average? So we should exceed our own expectation to be excellent? Is it really important to be the best? Can I just aim for average? Pardon me for my rumblings. I start writing nonsense, I better go back to my assignments. Keep fighting! I must lift up my spirit.